I really like how my life is going. All i have to do is make my decisions happen, but then again it is hard to put up with a fight. Exams are around the corner!!! I hate testing and I do not know why. I used to like it alot. But I realized when I study so much I get myself confused. I try to relax and mark off what I know is not right. then I'm down to 25% of getting the right answer. How could they do these things to apply the questions!? What purpose does it serve? Most professors just complain and read out of the book; then there are some that do NOT even talk about the subject. I wish I could understand what college life is all about. Extended education? Partying? Getting your start to your career?
I have my ambition and my boyfriend, Ivan, is right, "A boat on dry land." My motivation is withering from time to time, but I accept to strive and make a living. People (besides my bf and close friends who believe in me) giving me reality checks should just shut up. I am tired of the discouragement. Are you jealous? Are you tired of me talking about my dreams? Does it makes you vex about how I want to become something like you do? Come on stop being hipocrits ok. You will say it is critique, but my view is different. Suggest something then laugh and say "yeah right." After all that, it drives my ambition to hatred of pride. Proving myself I can do it. Which I seem not to like. What I like is support and advice what I can to make my dreams come true.
Ivan has done alot for me. He cares and comforts me. We motivate each other good and bad situations, but it turns out alright or awesome. He is the greatest! He makes me laugh or comforts me when I cry. My drive to see him is worth it! I do not complain about my gas (even though prices are sky rocketed). But my time with him is spectacular! If he ever reads this. I could see myself with him no matter what. I am still young, but this time it feels right. I am just going along what fate brings me and fighting for what I believe in him. He is wonderful to me and makes me adore him. I had a few friends question my relationship with him. I do not care what they say. I am HAPPY with him! If we share happiness and love. Then enough for me! I love you Ivan!
Those wondering where my graphic skills are. They are still here. Just too busy. I am even taking school during the summer and still not finish my degree on my graduation date. Sucks huh? I am hoping to get my ROTC scholarship. I am working hard at it, but I do not have enough support my family at times, all i get is pressure. "DID YOU STUDY?!" DID YOU THIS or THAT it is driving me up the WALL!!! I do not know with pressure, but it sure does makes me want to do soemthing less.
Well it is late. Gotta sleep. Take cares and Much Love
Monica | 
